Ever experienced that moment when you feel like you are stuck and lost? We all different ways of reacting to such a feeling. Some people get upset, bitter and angry. Others get sick and depressed. Others become reckless, take risk, “live life to the fullest.”
I choose to be happy, I chose to move on, let go of the negative thoughts and feelings, cherish the positive thoughts and great memories and cherish what I have right this moment. I like to learn from others so I read others on how they think one could let go. In Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On Dr. Grohol gives, in my opinion, doable steps.
- Make the decision to let it go
This is the hardest stage I think. We always have this hope that something is going to change. A miracle, the other person: your boss, your ex (whoever it is that hurt you so bad) will have an epiphany and they will come back. And when they do, we will either make them suffer and beg for our forgiveness or we will have that final opportunity to say “no!” No one will make this decision for you but you will be thankful to yourself that you decided to let it go!
2. Express your pain and your responsibility
It’s OK to cry, and show vulnerability. I personally cannot hold things inside. It ends up being poisonous so I talk about it when I find the opportunity. Dr. Grohol suggest writing a letter that you never send, that is an idea too.
Expressing my responsibility is hard but I do it anyway not to beat myself up for my mistakes but to learn and to grow.
3. Stop being the victim and blaming others:
“No amount of rumination of analyses have ever fixed a relationship problem. Never. Not in the entirety of the world’s history. So why choose to engage in so much thought and devote so much energy to a person who you feel has wronged you?” Dr. Grohol
4.Focus on the present
5. Forgive them and yourself