Happiness

When I started blogging, I named my page “Raya’s growing happy” because I thought “since I am working on it, I am growing happy.”

Then I learned so much through reading and writing. I found that if I believe in the quote “happiness is a way of travel not a destination” then I need to find a way to be happy with what I have now, in the present. So I named it “Raya is Happy.”

images (1)
From Google images

 Now this is the most challenging part, especially when you feel like everything and every one that you ever care about is out to sink you deep into darkness… It is exhausting fighting with one’s self and it doesn’t become second nature just because you want it. In my case, I spent 22 years of my life thinking horrible, horrible things about myself. And when I learned that I have to take a stand against myself, I thought “huh! that’ll be easy… I can convince myself to put myself first.” But then I realize that

  1. if I put others first for 22 years and it’s become second nature to a point where I don’t think I can live without people who treat me like a dirt bag…
  2. It will not take me 2 years to train myself back to a point where it becomes second nature to put myself first and say that I am worth every good thing that comes my way…
  3. So the take away message here is to never give up… why? Because I am worth it!
Google Images
Google Images

 

I graduated this past January and I started applying for jobs months before I graduated, through hurricane Sandy and all, yet I still am not a full time employee. On days like today: I waited for 2 hours only to be told that I don’t have experience and I received another rejection letter. In addition to all that, I had to deal with a whole lot of stress… And I won’t lie, I had my short period of “God why? why me?” but then I took the train, and this young man came in with a little boy in a stroller, he is homeless, sick, no food to eat and he is a single dad. I asked myself if I really have the right to sulk right now and the answer is evident right? So here goes my little poem…

 

Google images
Google images

Air in my lungs,

“lub dub” melody of my heart

warmth of my blood

Afro on my head

images through my sight,

family around me – although always bickering

Friends that care

Strangers that smile

life around me

Happiness is…

Enough…

Enough to bathe,

Enough to eat,

Enough to drink,

Enough to walk,

Enough to smile,

Enough to say God I thank you for this…

Hope…

Hope in a brighter tomorrow,

Hope in Love,

Hope in happiness…

Happiness is today

Do I want more? Yes! but do I have enough? Yes!

2 thoughts on “Happiness

Add yours

  1. I love the new name for your blog! And remember that your struggles now are making you a better person. Every tough period we traverse leads to increased happiness after the storm.
    Best of luck

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