Nobody’s got it all

Last week was hard for me. I faced some challenges in my personal life and I got to a point where I was just so tired and sick of struggling through everything. I just let sadness and frustruation take over. The heat wave did not help, so I barely slept for the whole week, I found comfort in Trader Joe’s Karat cake and chocolate, I did not excercise and I had difficulty focusing on anything. I was feeling like I was fighting for nothing: I work hard and I am still broke, I excercise hard and I am still fat, etc… All these negative thoughts kept going through my mind but I still had to get things done…

At my internship placement, I was asked to work on the lifeline’s Youtube channel . I was asked to create playlists and add videos to those playlists. Being as depressed as I was, it wasnt fun watching some videos but I also found some very empowering videos like this video for example. Though Courtney’s story is very sad, she ends on a positive note saying: “it might seem like you are fighting for nothing but I am the living proof that things get better…”  It was as if she was talking to me directly.

From Google Images

I was in my very dark place, and I neglected to practice my positive thinking and all that I have learned in therapy. It’s ok, I am human and I was able to snap out of it. I am fighting for something if not many things, I am building the foundation to a better and much more stable future, I am strong and inspiring to my siblings and people who know me, I am able to make people laugh and feel better about themselves, I am beautiful and healhty, etc. Everyone gets depressed in their lives, doing something about it is what proves all  our negative thoughts wrong. Here is how I took action against my depressive mood of last week: I went to a group therapy( getting feedback from other people that understand me helped), I requested a time off to go back home and feel the love from my family (it was refreshing to be around my siblings, we always try to make each other laugh and we try to cheer each other up), Gosh! I got some sleep (eight hours of uninterrupted, cool temperature sleep) and finally, I had a good run and a weight training at the Gym (my muscles are sore but I feel good again). So I have to remind myself this.

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