101 Things I Will Teach My Daughters

rayabayor:

DEEP

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.

2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.

3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.

4. How to apply red lipstick.

5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.

6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.

7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.

8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.

9. Love the world unconditionally.

10. Seek beauty in all things.

11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.

12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.

13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.

14. Make the world feel at ease around you.

15. Walk with your head up.

16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.

17. Never, ever bite your nails.

18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather…

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23 Things To Do Instead Of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23

rayabayor:

So interesting

Originally posted on Wander Onwards:

Marriage

As 2013 wraps up, I’ve been noticing more and more people getting engaged and/or married under the age of 23.

I get it.

It’s cold outside… you want to cuddle and talk about your feelings… life after graduation is a tough transition… so why not just cut to the chase and get married, right?  It’s hip. It’s cool. You get to wear clothing that wouldn’t normally be socially acceptable at the dive bar you frequent with the $5 beers.  Eff it. YOLO. YOMO! You only marry once…

Oh wait.

The divorce rate for young couples is more than twice the national average. Divorce is no longer a staple in a midlife crisis, but rather, something that SEVENTEEN Magazine should probably be printing on. Headlines could read,

“How to budget for your prom AND your wedding in the same year!”

“What’s HOT: Kids raising Kids.”

“Why your Mom doesn’t really…

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Happy 2014

Hello bloggers!

It has been a while and a lot has been going on but I wanted to take a moment and wish everyone

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I am curious to know what everyone wishes to accomplish this year. I don’t really have a resolution this year. I think my goal has been to put me first lately so I will put myself first until my “mini me” gets here…

My wish for everyone is that you…positive-quotes-0

Happy New Year!!

‘Everything will be ok. I love you.’ Parenting after Trayvon

Funny that Parker (11 years old) and I (20 something years old) had the same thoughts… I am glad that the upcoming generations are educated and aware. I also thought about moving that night (not to another state but to another country) but let’s face it, racism is everywhere which is why everyone should get involved.

On the topic of love

Sometimes when I am bored or I just want to exercise my mind, I google random stuff. Now, for the past few weeks, I have been reading Paulo Coelho and he talks a lot about love and he got me thinking about it. So I googled “what is love?” Did you know that what is love was the most searched query on Google in 2012? Well, I learned that in the article that I am going to discuss.  I believe that the article published by The Guardian sums things up. It discusses five theories:

From the physicist point of view:

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From Google Images

“Love is chemistry” says Jim Al-Khalili. I found it interesting when he stated that from an evolutionary perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool. 

From the psychotherapists point of view

Google Images

Google Images

Philippa Perry argues that “Love has many guises”  She talks about Philia, Ludus,Pragma,etc… But obviously, I liked that she mentioned Philautia which is self-love and she mentions that it is not as selfish as it sounds: “As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapists will tell you, in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself.”

From the Philosopher point of view:

Google images

Google images

Julian Baggini says that “Love is a passionate commitment.” I don’t know about you but I am exhausted just reading that definition, love sounds like a lot of work in philosophy. But I liked the fact that he says that we nurture and develop love.

From a Romantic novelist point of view:

Google Images

Google Images

Jojo Moyes says that “Love drives all great stories” … And I agree…

From a religious point of view:

Google Images

Google Images

Catherine Wybourne, a Benedictine nun states that “love is free but yet binds us.” I think I agree with this much more although there is truth in all other four theories. Catherine Wybourne states that: ” Love’s the one thing that can never hurt anyone, although it may cost dearly.”

My conclusion: 

“Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love.” Susan Sontag

Now since my inspiration was Paulo Coelho, I want to share one of my favorite quotes from him: “Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” 

What do you think?

I’ve Got The Joy in My Heart

rayabayor:

This is how I feel right now…

Originally posted on Looking For My Burning Bush:

Dec 13, 2010 –Sunday

 

I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart (Where?)
Down in my heart (Where?)
Down in my heart
I’ve got the joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart (Where?)
Down in my heart to stay
And I’m so happy
So very happy
I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heart (down in my heart)
And I’m so happy
So very happy
I’ve got the love of Jesus in my heart !

 

 

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:8-9

 

 

 

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Happiness

When I started blogging, I named my page “Raya’s growing happy” because I thought “since I am working on it, I am growing happy.”

Then I learned so much through reading and writing. I found that if I believe in the quote “happiness is a way of travel not a destination” then I need to find a way to be happy with what I have now, in the present. So I named it “Raya is Happy.”

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From Google images

 Now this is the most challenging part, especially when you feel like everything and every one that you ever care about is out to sink you deep into darkness… It is exhausting fighting with one’s self and it doesn’t become second nature just because you want it. In my case, I spent 22 years of my life thinking horrible, horrible things about myself. And when I learned that I have to take a stand against myself, I thought “huh! that’ll be easy… I can convince myself to put myself first.” But then I realize that

  1. if I put others first for 22 years and it’s become second nature to a point where I don’t think I can live without people who treat me like a dirt bag…
  2. It will not take me 2 years to train myself back to a point where it becomes second nature to put myself first and say that I am worth every good thing that comes my way…
  3. So the take away message here is to never give up… why? Because I am worth it!
Google Images

Google Images

 

I graduated this past January and I started applying for jobs months before I graduated, through hurricane Sandy and all, yet I still am not a full time employee. On days like today: I waited for 2 hours only to be told that I don’t have experience and I received another rejection letter. In addition to all that, I had to deal with a whole lot of stress… And I won’t lie, I had my short period of “God why? why me?” but then I took the train, and this young man came in with a little boy in a stroller, he is homeless, sick, no food to eat and he is a single dad. I asked myself if I really have the right to sulk right now and the answer is evident right? So here goes my little poem…

 

Google images

Google images

Air in my lungs,

“lub dub” melody of my heart

warmth of my blood

Afro on my head

images through my sight,

family around me – although always bickering

Friends that care

Strangers that smile

life around me

Happiness is…

Enough…

Enough to bathe,

Enough to eat,

Enough to drink,

Enough to walk,

Enough to smile,

Enough to say God I thank you for this…

Hope…

Hope in a brighter tomorrow,

Hope in Love,

Hope in happiness…

Happiness is today

Do I want more? Yes! but do I have enough? Yes!